Football is far and away the best sport ever. I can understand why baseball got the distinction of "America's favorite pastime" before football was big in the states, but once football got going I don't know how the sport wasn't disbanded so people could go watch real men play a real sport. Has anyone ever actually sat through a 9 inning game without falling asleep or without the aid of drugs? I once attempted to do so just to say that I have, but failed miserably( by the end I was asleep and on drugs). Baseball is beyond boring. I've seen it take 20 minutes for a batter to either reach base safely or get put out. It actually got me thinking about what could make baseball better: Add a time limit. Four hours of pitchouts and spitting just doesn't cut it. I would propose a half hour time limit, and the games could only be televised when the local news was on and if no re-runs of Seinfeld were currently being aired. If the game was still going on after time expired, both teams would be executed. It would definitely be one Hell of an incentive to keep the game moving.
Hockey and Soccer are basically the same thing to me(because they're basically the same thing): lame. I once got into an argument with a girl at a bar about soccer in which she told me that the reason I didn't like soccer was because I was too Americanized and would get bored with anything where there isn't either scoring or something exciting happening all the time. I can only agree. Who doesn't like scoring and excitement? I don't watch sports to marvel at endurance, I want to see something cool happen. It's called "entertainment" for a reason. She then tried to belittle people who play football by saying that soccer players are smarter. First off, I don't believe that to be true because football players have to memorize and understand vast amounts of material in play books and be able to identify adjustments in seconds by their opponents. In this way, football is almost like a harder version of chess. But let's say for the sake of the argument that soccer players were smarter than football players, who cares? I certainly don't. Once again, I watch to see something exciting, not to see the players take a standardized test. She finished saying she could never get into football because there are too many stoppages. I guess it was lost on her that more happens during the stoppages in football than sometimes happen during entire soccer matches. I haven't bashed hockey because like I said, it's the same thing as soccer. There is one way that I feel they could increase viewership to both soccer and hockey( which I hinted at in my other blog post): replace all humans with monkeys, including the refs. Chimps on ice might actually surpass football as the greatest thing mankind has ever done. Not only would ratings be through the roof, but you wouldn't have to worry about work stoppages because monkeys are stupid and will work for bananas. It would also piss off PETA which would be a huge plus.
Last but not least, there is basketball. Don't get me wrong, basketball is awesome. The only problem with it is that it goes on too long causing apathy among the players for the length of a season. If they could would shorten the season and get rid of all the acting/flopping that goes on in the game, it would definitely rival football. Dunks and alley-oops are definitely pretty sweet. Some people might argue that my points against basketball are only relevant in the pro game, and they are absolutely right, but football is still better because…uhhh….I said so.
I"ve completely lost my train of thought, but trust me, football is the best and you know it.
*My apologies for not including other sports in comparison to football but frankly no other sports are important enough to talk about
Jeff Smith-KIN 577
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ReplyDeletePlease don't fail me, Kerrie-Jeff Smith
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