Helping Kids Find Their Way

http://www.cnn.com/2012/02/20/health/child-gender-nonconformity/index.html


In the world of youth swimming, it can be argued that the sport doesn't have a dominate gender. Equal numbers of girls and boys routinely practice and compete across the globe in swim competitions, both individually and as a team. Rarely are there parents who discourage their child from being a competitive swimmer based on the "gender perception" of the sport.

However, frequently seen on the pool deck is the damaging effects of parents and their subtle (and not so subtle) influence of gender role ideology on children, and the damaging effect this can have on the child. For example, one of my male students came in to his swim class wearing his sisters' pink rash guard. A man, presumably a father of another child, quipped "Really, he let you put that on him! My son would kill me if I made wear him wear pink!'

This is a common sight at the pool. Boys being chided by their fathers for playing with Barbie's or "girl" toys, girls being chastised for wearing their brothers' swim trunks and a rash guard, or boys being criticized because they got into Mom's nail polish collection and showed up to swim class with purple hands and pink toes.

In Cheryl Kilodavis's book "Princess Boy", the inspiration came from her 5 year old sons preference to pink dresses, sparkly shoes and feminine attire. Her intention of the book is to bring greater awareness of being more tolerant of children who may not conform to standard gender norms. Her book has sparked heated debates regarding parenting, gender identity issues and "acceptable" levels of tolerance.

Throughout our coaching careers, we will undoubtedly encounter a wide spectrum of children and athletes who may be struggling with gender fluidity issues. As coaches and teachers, we must not forget that we make up a profoundly important component of the "trust triad" in a young athletes career. The relationship between a child, parent and coach is one where we are hugely influential on both sides. Creating a culture of awareness, understanding and tolerance can make a remarkable difference in a child who is struggling with gender identity issues. We must be sensitive to these children and help parents become more aware of how their comments may eventually become damaging to a struggling child. Given the issues of drug abuse, eating disorder, abuse and burnout experienced by "typical" athletes, athletes struggling with gender identity issues face even greater challenges, and are larger targets for systemic abuse. Coaching professionals must continue to promote greater awareness and tolerance among our athletes, parents and communities to stop the cycle of abuse.
- Angela Wild Kin 577